Can I live

Man what a hellish nightmare this is becoming. How do I get stuck in Utah twice and leave twice. Don't get me wrong it is absolutely beautiful out here and I am enjoying myself. There is a thin line though between love and hate. I wish I had money to do more, if I did I probably wouldn't be so stressed out right now. I feel like my life is wasting away right now. I mean I can see the rainbow at the end of the storm, but right now it is just pouring on me. How come things seems to be so difficult? What makes me more pissed off is that I can't really control any of it. No matter what I do things are still going to turn out the way that I don't really want them too. I don't like not being in control and the captain of my ship. Right now I feel like a passenger really, they won't even let me in to see the controls. How is this possible? I thought Life was supposed to be a wonderful experience but right now it is something that I am really not enjoying. The only time that I have to be completely free from everything, thoughts included, is in the gym. The only problem is that sooner or later and I have to go back outside to the rain. I know that we go through all things for a reason. I know that God has a plan for me, and that I am supposed to be rained on right now to make me stronger. Faith is what gets me through each day and I am thankful for my faith. Some people go through this life without any faith and don't realize the blessings they are receiving. Why are they blind to this? Why do so many wander without a path to follow? There are no shortcuts. I just want people to understand that there is so much more to this life then what they are led on to believe, but everytime I try I am the one who ends up getting the short end of the stick. All I can do is Keep my Head up. Father please bless me and strengthen me. Keep me safe and my family safe. Bless my friends even though they are blinded by their struggles.